This big stinky bloomed again.

This big stinky bloomed again. It's sprawling and attracting flies. It's amazing!

The other two plants are ones that I traded a few cold-hardy starters for. The top one is an aloe (Aloe ramosissima) and the other one is Pseudobombax ellipticum, which is a caudex tree of some sort. It looks like it'll have some really interesting flowers.

Shaun took down my shade cloth so the plants can get more sun and stay warmer through the winter.

I watered everyone today. I'm hoping a bunch will go dormant soon, but everyone looked pretty thirsty. They're not down for the season yet!

Today was pretty good.

Today was pretty good.

Caitlin went with me to Nordstrom Rack. I'd never been there, but read that they carried some jeans brands that I knew fit me nicely, so I wanted to check it out. I think I got pretty lucky; I bought 3 pairs of jeans and one nice pair of more casual pants. The casual pants definitely need to be hemmed, but that's ok. That's pretty usual for me.

After that, Shaun drove me to meet someone for a plant swap. I gave the guy I met several of my cold-hardy babies. He gave me 2 larger plants that he didn't have space for. I'll get pictures tomorrow.

Now I'm tired. I'm probably heading to bed as soon as I finish my Duolingo.

I'm gonna talk about cars.

I'm gonna talk about cars.

For my whole driving life (from 1999-2017) I drove beater cars.  Cars with major problems.  Cars that broke down and stranded me frequently.  Since I didn't live in a place with public transportation, my friends and family were always having to pick me up, help me fix my car, and/or give me rides.  It was exhausting and stressful.  It was scary; I lived in a rough city and was a single mom often stranded with a child.  It was financially draining to not be able to afford something more reliable, and to keep having to repair something that would eventually strand me again.

In 2017, Shaun bought me a used Nissan Cube.  It was amazing.  It was comfortable.  It was spacious.  It was quirky, which is my style.  It was reliable.  I loved that car, but when we moved states we sold it.

After settling here and getting solar on our house, we found a used Chevy Spark EV for me.  It's a 2016.  It's zippy and reliable and was inexpensive to buy and is inexpensive to charge - especially in off-peak hours and having solar.  I really enjoy it the benefits of having an EV.

Since it's an older EV, it doesn't have a super-long range; it'll charge to go about 80-90 miles before getting scary low, which works for most of my needs.  If you drive it badly and take off fast and slam the breaks, you lose charge fast.  That is the case for most EVs.  If you drive in a calm manner, it can actually recharge itself as you're driving, which is nice.

The downside is that if I find myself needing a charge when I'm out, that sucks.  First of all, the charger that the Spark takes is being phased out on many charging stations.  Secondly, if you don't already know where the fast-charging stations are you can waste range stopping at slow-charging stations, which could have you sitting there for hours.  Also, sometimes the charging stations are closed or vandalized, so it's never a guarantee that you'll be able to charge and you don't usually know that until you get there.  This causes some range-anxiety for me when I'm further away from home, so the Spark has become the household's errand car, which is fine.

While commuting to the internship I started driving Shaun's car because it was reliable.  It gets decent gas mileage, but I have found that I really hate stopping at gas stations and paying for gas.  For one, I prefer to stop for gas when I'm already out, which is usually when I am going to or from work.  So does everyone else, because the gas stations are full and have lines at those times.  For two, I don't like touching the pumps and standing outside and worrying about my card being hacked in the pump or whatever.  For three, the prices are ridiculous.

😆  Yes, I have been spoiled.

I think that if my career takes off and we get back on top of our finances I'd like to look into a long-range EV in the next few years.  I'm opposed to buying cars brand-new off the lot due to depreciation, but a newer used car that has been thoroughly checked out would hit the spot.  The longer-range EVs have range of 200+ miles, so that would give me a good bit more security for driving longer distances.  Ideally I would only charge at home, but even if not, having a charging cord that is not being phased out would make things easier, too.

Anyway, this is not important; it's just something I've been thinking about since driving so much lately.  In the past I had to drive whatever I had access to.  I am currently doing the same thing with Shaun's car, but in a much less dangerous and dire situation.  But if I get to a position financially where I get to be picky about what I drive, I'm 99% sure I'll be looking at a long-range EV.

I'm going to say something that sounds sarcastic, but it's not.

I'm going to say something that sounds sarcastic, but it's not.

When Bear isn't ready to have the doggy door locked for the night (now that he's a grown man and doesn't sleep in a crate), he let's us know in a very enthusiastic manner. And I love it.

He literally jumps at/body slams the doors and slides down them. Any door downstairs. DOOR is the problem. (And some of the windows.) 😂

It sounds obnoxious, but he's communicating in a very direct manner that he wants to pass through something and he can't.

When Cubba can't get out, he'll bark until we come to the door. He'll stand there looking at us expectantly until we do what he wants, which is usually pretty obvious.

But Bear SHOWS us.

I just find it neat how different they are. They have very different motivations and thought processes, as well as communication styles. Though all of the creatures that have lived with me have let me get to know their personalities, I'm not sure I've ever had a pair with this much contrast before.

The dogs like to lick the plate...

The dogs like to lick the plate after the cats finish their wet food at night. Shaun and Cubba were in the sunroom, and Shaun started calling Bear to come get his licks.

Tell me why this dog wouldn't go without me. 😂 He's a Papa's boy, 100%, but he seemed super confused when Shaun was calling "us" and I wasn't moving.

Every time Shaun whistled or called Bear's name, he would look towards Shaun, then look at me like "He's calling us. Are we going?" His eyebrows were up so far. 😂 (This is just a random photo from the other day, not with his "questioning" eyebrows on.)

I got up and walked him to the kitchen, but he kept stopping when I stopped. Shaun was like "Bring him over here since y'all are [dog]packed up. 🙄" 😂😂😂 

I wish I knew what that was about. Usually if we call him, he comes. But he's normally by himself if we call him, so maybe he doesn't realize he can be called as an individual if anyone else is near him. I've never seen another dog react like that before. Our strange little son. 😅❤️

This is my first full week of having a hybrid schedule.

This is my first full week of having a hybrid schedule.  It has been amazing.

I already knew that I loved working from home from previous jobs; I am so much more productive when I am able to be comfortable.  Being short-statured, no chair or desk is built for me.  If I'm high up enough to type comfortably, my feet are dangling.  If my feet aren't dangling, my arms are awkwardly high up trying to type and mouse.  I do have a foot rest at the office, which helps - but only if I'm sitting on the edge of my chair.  At home, I can sit however I need to in order to be comfortable.  I'm often criss-cross or sitting with my legs propped straight out.

Aside from the weird-sitting situation, I also struggle with temperature regulation.  I'm usually cold, even when others are quite warm.  So when I work from home I usually have a blanket on my lap.  I often wear a hat, or a hoodie so that I can cover my head.  When I'm in-office I want to look more professional, so I don't do any of those things - at least not without feeling self-conscious.  There have been some times that I put a hat on because I just couldn't focus otherwise due to being so cold.  Doing my best work wins over how goofy I look every time, but it's nice not to have to worry about that.

Thankfully, I have discovered my professional style that doesn't feel like a costume, and generally I am decently comfortable in my work clothes.  However, my temperature regulation settings suck and I still sweat even when I'm cold... even through layers.  So I constantly feel self-conscious and worry that people will see my armpit wet spots and feel grossed out.  I do have an appointment to hopefully address that in a couple of weeks, but for now it's much easier to just be a sweaty mess on my home days and not worry about it.

Overall, it's just easier to work from home.  Despite Shaun and the kids and the pets, I feel like I have fewer distractions and can be more productive.

The thing is, I enjoy my office days, too.

I love the drive - it's beautiful and despite the traffic, fun.  I love being here and feeling like I'm here.  I love having access to people that I have so much in common with.  I am a somewhat social creature, so it feels great to see my teammates in person.  At my previous job, all of my coworkers were scattered.  After the training period ended and I returned home to work I was fully remote; I basically only had access to them via Slack.  I felt pretty isolated.

So, this first week of hybrid has felt pretty great.  I feel more balanced.  I feel less exhausted.  I'm saving 8 hours of driving per week, which is basically a whole day.  As much as I love to drive, that is a bit much.  I would definitely do it if I had to because I love this job, but it's nice to not have to.

Speaking of loving the job... I am very engaged in my work.  I feel like it's making an impact.  It's challenging and fun.  It's nice to be contracted with one organization where I can see the benefit of what I've built, versus having 2 or 3 smaller projects for different companies where after I complete my task, the company moves me onto something else and I never see how my work has helped make a difference.

Also, being medicated for ADHD is a big help.  I can focus better.  I feel less overwhelmed in general, despite still having quite a lot of things to take care of.  I'm not just getting through my tasks; I'm learning from them.  I'm taking better care of myself.  I'm able to wake up in the mornings and stay awake all day because I'm now able to fall asleep at night, and STAY asleep.  Even when I was forcing myself to stay awake during the day, my brain obviously wasn't functioning at it's best no matter how hard I tried.  I'm no longer functioning on adrenaline; I don't have to anymore.  I can know that a thing needs to be done and instead of dreading it and putting it off until right before the deadline I can either do it or make a plan to do it, and stick to that.  It's wonderful.

I am very optimistic about the future.  I hope it's not speaking too soon, but I do feel like part of a team now.  I can see myself growing in my current position.  It's very exciting, and such a relief to not have to fight tooth and nail for every little win.

Sorry for the ramble, but I am feeling so grateful.  I just had to put it out there.

I worked from home today.

I worked from home today.

It was nice, but my coworker is lazy. 😂